I often attend films by myself, under the logic that as I am paying to sit in the dark, in silence, there is not much point to having someone come with me. It is one of most antisocial 'social' activities one can do.
I have long since accepted that I will die sad and alone, surrounded by boxsets.
Yesterday, I set off to the cinema to go see the new film Spring Breakers, a film that in the end I found deeply disappointing. But this is not a review - this is a story of what happened when I went to the cinema.
The weather was bad, so I put on my hat, long coat and carried my umbrella for the short walk to the cinema and joined the queue. Eventually, it was time to purchase my ticket.
'One Unlimited for Spring Breakers please,' I spluttered. I tend not to do well when talking to people.
This bearded man working behind the counter - I am unaware of there being a proper job title - raised his eyebrows at me.
'Just the one?' he said, giving me a look that suggested I had ulterior motives.
I was aware of some of the film's subject matter, but I was not properly aware of quite how risqué it was. Think The Inbetweeners film, only without the comedy and instead boobs, violence, drugs and a poorly thought out plot, to the point where it earned itself an 18 certificate. All I knew was that it had a review positive enough to intrigue me and give it a go.
'Uh, yes. Just one,' I said.
'Right. Okay, fair enough,' he said. He printed my ticket and with that the transaction was over.
As I walked to the screen and chose the seat best situated for optimum comfort, picture and sound, I thought over the exchange that had just occurred. It was very odd, I thought, for him to query that I only wanted one ticket. Surely other patrons have bought a solitary ticket before?
As the film commenced and the screen filled with boobs and dub step, it occurred to me that the image of a young man in a long dark coat, by himself, in a darkened screen has uncomfortable connotations.
I felt sullied, and the film sucked. It was an unfortunate series of events all told.